It's another boring post (don't read if you don't want to sleep)

Hola amigos,

It's me again.
It's another boring Monday.
Usually the boringness is due to the first day of the week (I mean working).
But today ain't a day for me to work, yet still feel the same.
I think even worse.
Past 2 days is the days where I can hangout with my friends after quite sometime,
which includes Saturday and Sunday (2 consecutive days).
Seriously, I've been looking forward to these 2 particular days for over a week.
I can't even focus on my work to contain the excitement.
Yesterday (Sunday) is the day of our mini reunion.
Planned last minutely by Mr X.
The day before, I'm having a tiny reunion with Mr M (3rd followers), Ms T and 2 others.
But I can't even enjoy.
I'm not as happy as I thought I would be.
I don't know the reason of it (seriously) and the reason I'm writing this.

Now that I think about it, what is it that I wanted the most?
Was it happiness? wealth? attention? knowledge? friends? lovers?
Was it really one of the above? and how do I get it?
I can't even tell which one do I really need, or which one do I really want.

Happiness?
Can it be achieve by doing something I like or getting something I want?

Wealth?
can I become rich by working till my bones out?
Is becoming rich going to make me any different than now?

Attention?
What do I gain by getting people's attention?
And who's attention really I'm hoping to get?

Knowledge?
Is knowledge really my concern?
What kind of knowledge do I want to gain?
And any specific reason for seeking those knowledge or just knowledge for knowledge's sake?

Friends?
What kind of friends?
Don't I have lots?
Are those really friends? or acquaintances?

Lovers?
Have I ever had one?
Have I ever fall for anyone?
Will telling them changes anything regardless of their answer?

Is achieving one of these things will lead me to the others.
I guess I was affected by Honey and Clover.
Asking all these question.
Expecting an answer.
Whilst it can only be answer by me alone.
Only that I don't have the answer.
I guess the only initiative that I can take is to watch Honey and Clover again.
Hoping to find something.

Currently, I felt like I've lost my reason for living.
But I have a feeling that I lost more than just reason.
Just need to know what it is.

Tomorrow is going to be another typical day.
Without knowing the purpose of doing all those thing that I will be doing tomorrow.
I mean the real purpose.

To those who's reading this,
I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Not knowing the reason of thanking you guys and the reason of posting it.

Sayonara...